• Alexandra Filia


Updated: Mar 22, 2019

I have been approached privately by many women in their late thirties and forties who are desperately seeking to find a good man. These women are attractive, with fulfilling careers, good friends and interesting hobbies. What they are finding out, is that suddenly the available pool of men has decreased drastically. They have come to realise that the man of their dreams is not about to magically appear on their doorstep and are looking for advice on the best way to date at this stage of their lives.

Here are my best tips for you ladies:

The number one tip is to identify the right places to look. Where are the cool 40-somethings hanging out? Have you considered, film festivals, cafes, museums and art galleries? Where do you truly like to spend your time? This is the best place to start.

Make up your mind if you want children or not. Once baby making is off the table, a lot of the pressure comes off and you will feel liberated to allow a budding romance to move at its natural pace. Guys will appreciate this attitude, nobody wants to feel under the gun or hear the loud ticking of the biological clock. There is a lot of social pressure to have children, have you truly contemplated whether you really want them?

Don’t limit yourself to men in your age group or older. In this day and age, women in their late thirties and forties are mostly fit and tend to take very good care of themselves. You can date anyone you want as long as you find them fun and interesting.

Newly divorced men can be trouble and come with baggage. They may be jaded and have a lot of complications both financial and practical. When there are children involved a divorce is costly and takes a lot of time. Time that you could be enjoying yourself with someone who is only thinking of you instead of his next court date or custody arrangements. Think twice about taking on this sort of burden.

Use your friends to help you meet eligible guys. Most of your married friends will be delighted to help you and their single male friends. We all have a bit of a matchmaker in us. Don’t be embarrassed to ask.

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