Going in for the KILL, or how to get a guy to commit
Updated: Mar 22, 2019
So, things are going well. You have the man, you are looking good, he has stars in his eyes and can’t bear to be without you. His mom has begrudgingly approved, his sister loves you and his friends are saying to him that you are the best girlfriend he’s ever had. The two of you are planning a grand adventure and the sex is superb. He is making noises about the two of you moving in together, but alas, you can’t, or you won’t because you want your own space and you are not that kind of girl. He is over at yours all the time, he is neglecting his friends, in fact, if it wasn’t for you encouraging him to go hang out with them, he wouldn’t even bother. So, what do you do now? How do you close the sale?
You are now living a moment in time that is both fleeting and delicate. Familiarity has not set in, you are always looking amazing when you see you, he has not seen you pooh (and he never should by the way), fart (ditto), sleep with your mouth open while slightly snoring, brush your teeth, hair etc You are this mysterious being in his life who can fly away at any time. You have not told him a thing about previous lovers (in fact you skirt around the question), you have not asked him about the future of the relationship, you have not asked him what he is thinking, and you are hugely supporting of his hairbrained scheme to connect the Bahamas islands with an airbridge. You are simply perfect. He is seriously thinking about popping the question, except, we are talking about a guy here. There is always something better to do than go ring shopping, why rush things…
The final touches
Now you have to take things into your own hands and close the deal. Something comes up, something unexpected and out of your control. You get a promoted at work, except the new job is in another city (or country if you want to be really dramatic). Your roommates are planning a sabbatical in India and have asked you to come along. A long-awaited job offer has materialized, except it is 500 miles away. The drama is building, the tears are flowing, the inevitable is looming… and guess what happens next. Your prince is not about to lose you. You are one in a million, billion! So, he gets off his ass and pops the question: “Don’t go, I can imagine my life without you. Will you marry me?” You are of course totally taken by surprise. In the midst of your sadness and distress over the looming enforced separation, this scenario, never played out in your head. Get married? I can’t stress this enough! You must act surprised and you must require convincing. He will work hard to win this, and the prize will be so worth it because of it. At the end you will of course sweep aside your reservations and agree even though you barely know him, but you two are made for each other!
You have arrived my dear, the hard work is done.